Grave depth – I have only seen 6 ft deep graves. Read on…. andu a gikuyu na mumbı tumenagwo tuhu nı kıyo gıtı. hilarious…kikuyus are real enterpreneurs,i respect all kiuks! Babangu aliniabia nisitware sikanywe maji. From the Traditional Music and Cultures of Kenya, a multimedia encyclopaedia dedicated to all Kenyan tribes, including music and dance, history, culture, society, religion and beliefs, rituals and daily life, fables, legends, riddles and proverbs. Funny Stories. i agree with fred. Linkedin. its the policy anyway, kuoya kuoya mikari. !” This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes.. The Twelve Weavers. kwani?…..people don’t realise that this tribe is tribeless,timeless and all!!…. We have some Kikuyus up here and are causing problems. Here are some funny WhatsApp screenshots to brighten your day. Kikuyu is one of the 43 tribes we have in Kenya today. Im proud of my heritage.I cant change it given the chance. The Kikuyu women had been excluded from politics as well. Floof Wants A Phone. READ ALSO: Funny Kenyan Jokes: Hilarious and Creative Jokes that Spiced Up the Year . He used to mock and make fun of other people and always acted like he was the smartest. abomination. … safi safi.cia matuina(keys to heaven) safi ngori kwena cia ikumi cia VIP That would be the slogan, And the matchbox is less some matchsticks! there is no right or wrong only what is and what is not…. Reply. They are even using mpesa to send money to andu aitu (our relatives) in hell. While they were having dinner the girl gently farts. The American, more than a little miffed, shakes the Kikuyu and asks “Well, so what’s the answer?” Without a word, the Kikuyu reaches into his wallet, hands the American $5, and turns away to get back to sleep. This lady explains as it is after she slept with a Maasai man for the first time. Last Updated on December 21, 2019. This nonsense that Kikuyus are money perverts is very annoying. 436622. The Kikuyu just wants to take a nap, so He politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. Top African folktales. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. This was not the case with one of Kiambu's most famous sons, 'Sir' Charles Mugane Njonjo. Am proud to be akikuyu, kama wamefika huko sasa wataisha,juu wataitana wote, Unataka mahali ya kUKA….COME TO MY PLOT IN kAYOLE. The above short story is my translation from the Gikuyu of Fred K. Kago’s Kikuyu Primer, Book 3. Ngiri is slang for one thousand shillings (Kenya), and it is also the Swahili word for a warthog. Simply no comments but I think wr are blessed.you stole this note?Funny thief.like it anyway. We must be the chosen few..if th devil is getn tempted by us..no agony,the fire is off! September 10, 2014. I happened to bump into this crazy trend - Kikuyu word of the day. Like with any dialect, Kikuyu language has phrases, quotes, and proverbs that help to explain some of its deep cultures. Kikuyu story-telling Stories - whether true accounts of historical events, or amusing and far-fetched tales of giants and ogres, or fables involving animals, were crucial to a child's education. The Kikuyu People are the biggest ethnic group in the East African country with a population of about 6,623,000 which makes up 23% of Kenya’s ... 60 Funny Things To Say To A Girl to Make Her Laugh. Annoyed by the funny smell the father in law yells:-Rocky!! Get Daily Updates. the joke is really funny, but everyboby must know of ethnocenticism, that is, every tribe, every homogeneous group of people always think that they are better than others, their ways and culture are superior than others. Hyi me n kikuyus wao.we r great pround 2 be one. READ Top 10 Most Dangerous Countries in Africa. what a human being to recon with. He taps into the Air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. haiyaaaaeee!!!!! READ Top 10 Most Dangerous Countries in Africa. Initiation rites for both boys and girls are important ceremonies and consist of circumcision in boys and cliterodectomy in girls (the latter now rarely practised), accompanied by elaborate preparations and rituals. Hot New # 1. What Is The Difference Between Confident And Confidential. No two people seem to know quite the same version of a story, and one person may give as one long story what another will tell you should be two distinct shorter ones. Let this perception stop. ooohhh! Bidii yetu. Thats what makes them Hate us. haaaa haa! This means Mkikuyu ajielewa. tuko juu. The Lord said, ‘Kikuyus are Kikuyus. These funny stories will have you laughing for days. stop pointing at kikuyus for the wrong reasons. Seems wako too ambitious! Bravo!kiuks dnk widely en stragle mch.am proud 2 b a kikuyu en dnt regret it. ( Log Out /  The Kikuyu Creation Myth. the 1900s, 1950s 1960s and 1970s were favourable for the kikuyus, but read the signs of the time. pride for being a kikuyu is okay, but lets be sure it is not misplaced pride – feeling superior than others. Kali Sana. The American man persists and explains that the game is real easy and is a lot of fun. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Savco jeans instead of their white robes, they’re riding pick up trucks instead of the chariots, and they’re selling their halos to people for discount prices. Those Kikuyus have put out the fire and are selling me a match box if I want to light the fire again! Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Mwangi wa bonoko, Ngai fafa! No wonder we are rich. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Ndamiano tells a Kikuyu story about Dogs for sale for AIDS cure. Sikaania,sikaania, sikaania mpaka babangu akatoka rugongo akakuja kianda. ( Log Out /  but kaarreeeeeeeeee!!!!!! ngoma….. ona akuite guthia shillingi wone agiukira!! Funny WhatsApp conversations. Stories, in fact, are more than just a fun activity. It had also disrupted their traditional, political as well as their social lives. kiuks wana cause fracas hadi hell! FUNNY!! 19. this has made my ribs ache. Kímani wa mukokoteni : However, some men marry when they are approaching 40 or after get to 'fourth floor'. Feb 05, 2018 by Shreya Sharma. This entry was posted in Kikuyu Jokes and tagged funny kenyan jokes, funny kikuyu jokes, funny kikuyu sayings, KIKUYU and MONEY, kikuyu dirty jokes, kikuyu love quotes, Only a Kenyan Kikuyu, sick jokes about kikuyus, today kikuyu funny jokes, vichekesho funny, … Buy tickets straight 2 my Ngai fafa at a discounted rate. So they became money oriented and I like that coz this is a capitalist system and the hard working ones (whether thieves or not) deserve the best! Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Ngiri is slang for one thousand shillings (Kenya), and it is also the Swahili word for a warthog. What can I do for you?’ Gabriel replied, ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.’ The Devil said, ‘Hold on again. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to his co-workers to no avail. African stories sometimes include trickster animals and spirits. Top African folktales. hem August 12, 2018, 1:06 pm. Kínúthia mathiirí, Travel and History. nice one, awesome, as u can c we dont belive in wasting opportunities even though we cant speak ingrish propary, i’m not a Kikuyu but this made me laugh…. Funny Stories, Moral Stories Your job doesn’t always define you ... Altay Proverbs. Check out some of the funny ones. Kikuyus the only tribe that knows how to make money regardless of the situation noma sana. Even devel ameshindwa kukaa na wao. 7 Short Funny Stories for Kids – To Tickle Their Funny Bones. wakikuyu si wata iba ile kalamu ya mungu ya kuandika watu wa kitabu cha uhai kisha waanze kumuuzia? Teacher: Give an example of a reptile. Sweet Love Quotes. Long long time ago when the Gikuyu were breaking the forest, that huge and dark forest called “God help me” or Mutitu wa Ngai Ndeithia, during the age of the tree cutters, Ndemi, when giants dwelt in the forest, there lived a dreaded giant deep in the forest called Irimu ria Nyakondo or “The giant of the great Kiondo bag”. Eh , the Kikuyu are kind of like the Baganda we have here in Uganda , they can make business anywhere and sell anything. the joke is really funny, but everyboby must know of ethnocenticism, that is, every tribe, every homogeneous group of people always think that they are better than others, their ways and culture are superior than others. Wangari wa makara Guaranteed next day delivery. Am a kyuk but this is classic, lmao. Foreign rule had eventually altered the political and social structure of the Kikuyu history and culture. Kids love stories. the somalis have travelled all over the world doing business, are hardworking and have far superior international networks than many tribes. !This Kikuyu Lady Explains How She Felt after Sleeping with a Maasai Man for the First Time. Karanja wa makondofia, They should be hired to put off the fire in hell. Lone nights by Love lost to gain. Kutafuta pesa ni muhimu. si kuwaonea but this guys ar the funiest….i once tried one of my very good friends to buy me samthing from campo yao at staff price…maaaan he still tried to undercut me..lol. A Kikuyu and an American man are sitting next to each other on a long flight from London to Bermuda . Related Stories. September 10, 2014. hahaha… . I need to check on something.’ After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, Im back.. Now what was the question?’ Gabriel said, ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’ The Devil said, ‘Man I don’t believe this…….Hold on.’ in the background you can hear “ngai!! Quote. 1. Here are some of the examples of Kikuyu riddles, Kikuyu proverbs, Kikuyu funny quotes, and Kikuyu phrases you should know. Proud to be a kiuk forever and ever. ( Log Out /  it matters how someone makes his, her money. Parliament Chaotic and Funny Moments clips - See more Political Stories at http://www.sowetanlive.co.za !ghai fafa……watapoteza key ya heavens gate na watake wauzie sinners huko hell pia, Soon they will rob sadaka at synagog, na wavune matunda yote ya Aden. ... 60 Funny Things To Say To A Girl to Make Her Laugh. sometimes you cannot be sure whether the feeling of pride for being a kikuyu is not communicated to other people as arrogance and misplaced pride. i have seen debilitating and widespread poverty among the kikuyus. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. Jun 8, 2016 - Welcome for a comprehensive collection of Kikuyu proverbs and sayings. Alinichapa sana na ndio nikajua umuhimu wa maji. This lady explains as it is after she slept with a Maasai man for the first time. I found some attempting to fit a carrier on the chariot for carrying “thaara wa n’gombe “(Napier grass for their cows) on their way from visits! and it was for consumption not resale. !This Kikuyu Lady Explains How She Felt after Sleeping with a Maasai Man for the First Time. 1.The man who never lied. The Kikuyu doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the American. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. Kikuyu stories, like all unwritten literature, tend to be fluid. spirit ya wakikuyu seizing every opputunity tat comes along.. maundu ni matatu muoyo , mwaki kana mbecaa, I love to work and am proud to be a kiuk. The Kikuyu People are the biggest ethnic group in the East African country with a population of about 6,623,000 which makes up 23% of Kenya’s ... 60 Funny Things To Say To A Girl to Make Her Laugh. (Kikuyu Proverb) Travelling is learning. It is not our The Devil returned and said, ‘I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now. by Katerina Janik Jokes about Husbands, Wives, Weddings and Marriage. Hold on a minute.’ The Devil returned to the phone, ‘OK I’m back. Kikuyu language is among the top languages spoken in Kenya today. Strength is a virtue in the Kikuyu comminity, I guess thats how we have been able to be good business people as a whole and produce 3 out of all 4 kenyan presidents. They are even attempting “atiriri” talk over here! Native American Shenandoah Proverbs. Here is Njeri’s story. Student: Girgit Teacher: yea. RUTAI WIRA NAKIO MWONE MASHIARO TA MA MUGIKUYU. June 13, 2014. Reply. :"We know arsenal are the FA champions 2014 is not a must uterus!" “Wirute Guthoma – Ibuku ria Gatatu) first published in 1958 by Nelson Publishers. Be fair, Hahahahaha thats pretty much hilarious LOL , i agree with fred. Mind you we’re and always will be da besht no matter what!!!!!! Kikuyu Stories . Funniest Jokes New Jokes Hilarious Jokes Clean Jokes Funny Sayings Black Humor One-Liners Funny Riddles Dad Jokes Best Puns Fun Facts Kids Jokes More Awesome Jokes. The Main Kikuyu Myth of Origin. Double meaning words. Posts about Kikuyu stories written by Mũkũyũ. AMEN. They play a pivotal role in the overall growth and development of the child, particularly in the cognitive areas. Good. There was once a man who thought he was more intelligent than everybody else. A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents. Woman leaves netizens in stitches with funny imitation of Kikuyu musician 8 months ago read comments by Wangeci Nderitu - A woman identified as Queen Paloma left many laughing after doing a Tik Tok video imitating a Kikuyu musician The fake report card. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! This is one of the funny stories for 10 year olds kids to read. “True story!”, though that part is fun and entertaining i find it attacking the reputation that most the kikuyus enjoy in the socety. Infact u shld thnk dem coz there wnt b fire in hel,n no gold,scrap metals n fruits in heaven al wil b sold, its marketn strategy,devil n God wameshangaa pia. Well, am a Kiuk and am proud of…”mbeca citikuraga miti-ini, nonginya ciethwe”. He asks the American “What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?”. Refine by tag: kikuyu. “I have held the horns of the cow. Welcome to Inspirational Stories, we believe in holding yourself together, accepting life, and making the inspired decisions that change the horizons of their life. 28 1 1. mathagu mana ikumi ikumi!! The collection of folktales from Africa consists of four books with 88 stories: 28 South African folktales, 40 Nigerian folktales and 10 Tanzanian folktales. Poor Lolo wants to relax, but there’s so much he has to do! 1. Kamau múgúrúki, :)…:)…. Njuguna wa motura. ata next time watapima key za gate ya heaven kwa scrap..tukose kuingia uko…hehehehe no nde mugikuyu karing`a . Read funny stories for kids, and laugh your socks off with our fantastic free funny books and kids poems! Here are some funny WhatsApp screenshots to brighten your day. the dynamics of time are actually not very favourable to the kikuyus. Crazy hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa down i fall. Its also kikuyu tradition for the family of the deseased to spend the night in the area. The Kikuyu politely takes the $100 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. our biggest handicap and downfall “ni uiru amongst each other” cut that out tuko capable! 1 Reply * In Maths: A kiss is the shortest It’s worth the late night! Among the Kikuyu community, most young men start raising a family at the ages of between 25 and 35. Funny Stories, Moral Stories The perfect couple. Most of these memes come in the form of pictures and videos accompanied with funny … Related Stories. mugikuyu means mugi……….cleaver,giku………..an animal. Vaishnavi Nagaraj - January 31, 2019. the joke is really funny, but everyboby must know of ethnocenticism, that is, every tribe, every homogeneous group of people always think that they are better than others, their ways and culture are superior than others. 20. Yes we put up tents and we hold strong. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil.’ The Devil answered the phone, ‘Hello? The boy’s father is getting nervous:-Rocky!! The Spirits of the Kikuyu. Kikuyu Circumcision Ceremony. Kariki!!! hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!Those Kikuyus have put out the fire and are selling me a match box if I want to light the fire again! it matters how someone makes his, her money. wakonyo Tell us the behaviours of the nyeri kikuyu women both in hell and heaven uh, hau niho turi kikuyu ni lugha ya taifa ya mbinguni. Hurry my brother few ticketz remainin. Floof the dog really, really wants a phone… even if he can’t use one! am proud to b one.we blieve in seizing opportunity n utilizing it to the maximum. Posts about Kikuyu folktales written by Mũkũyũ. HI! Like with any dialect, Kikuyu language has phrases, quotes, and proverbs that help to explain some of its deep cultures. Kikuyu guys don’t save one name kwa phone book. The American man, now somewhat agitated, says, “OK, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $100!”. Kwendia ngui - Karagita Kenya by Fredrick Maina. This entry was posted in Kikuyu Jokes and tagged funny kikuyu jokes, jokes corner, jokes kiswahili, kamba jokes, luhya jokes, Luo jokes, vichekesho jokes, what do you call a on November 6, 2014 by Jokajok. today more than half of the kikuyus are very poor, i have seen villages devastated by jiggers, education, as important as it is today,the kikuyus are behind. I got all sentimental when I saw my husband looking at our marriage certificate for half an hour. Funny WhatsApp conversations. Really funny. Good Quotes. Urban legends contain many folkloric elements and they spread quickly through a community or society. think they will also parts of chariots n uproot the gates wauze as scrap. Kenyatta (1938), Cagnolo (1933), and Gathigira (1933) have all narrated the story of Gĩkũyũ and Mũmbi. The American looks up at him with a puzzled look. Love it anyway. Here is Njeri’s story. You mean lizard. And i guess, you being an undiluted kiuk you were obviously on first corridor lining your kadhalika’s for the very first customer to spot them. Kamande múishi, so hata devil anawaogopa!… sina mbavu jamani….he heeee!! It has been going on on Twira and Facebook for a while now, and I think it's just hilarious. Njeri wa gítheri, i have seen debilitating and widespread poverty among the kikuyus. A kikuyu laments in hell corridors holdin a ticket book . We mwega umuthi – ‘ We mwega umuthi ‘ means Good afternoon […] Nikamwira ni gatangi kamegaragara. na turi ohau nu supplier wa ngu na makara kwa ngoma ? WhatsApp. 100 Dirty Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend. Enjoyed these funny stories and will use some of them in my Sunday school class. Hehehe hiyo noma kweli, I luv da sprt ov da kiuks,srvivl 4 da fitest.Ready 2 hsl evrwhere. Sort by: Hot. Andika Insha Kuhusu Umuhimu wa Maji – Crazy Kikuyu Joke. Githingithia. TIGAI GISHABIO KIU MWIIGIRIRIE. Yours is to milk it dry!”. Kwa Punda – It means a place for donkeys, a domestic animal famed for transporting heavy luggage.It’s an informal settlement in Changamwe sub-county. Kukkuri-san x Reader by Llena Colorandez. The American man leans over to the Kikuyu and asks if he would like to play a fun game. In as much as WhatsApp conversations are to be private, there those you cannot resist sharing with your friends and family. Give another example. Shawnee Proverbs. Akaniuliza “Mbogo, kwanini ng’ombe sinaania hivyo? Change ). Double meaning words. Silipofika, silikuta gatangi ka mai kamegaragario. I got all sentimental when I saw my husband looking at our marriage certificate for half an hour. FUNNY – How Kikuyu Men Introduce Their Wives By Richard Kamau / Tuesday, 14 Oct 2014 06:25AM / Leave a Comment / Tags: Kikuyu , Romantic There is no denying that Kenyan men have had difficult times when it comes to being romantic. The collection of folktales from Africa consists of four books with 88 stories: 28 South African folktales, 40 Nigerian folktales and 10 Tanzanian folktales. They have sub-let their mansions and are now living in the SQs. The girl is relieved that the future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair but after a few minutes she lets one more rip. A kikuyu is like any other person. Have a Go of the Yo-Yo, Lo Lo. Tiganai na mugikuyu nakio giake……..ecaragiria kinya ekwa Very funny. Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Messenger. Am a Kikuyu and I stole this note! This entry was posted in Kikuyu Jokes and tagged funny kenyan jokes, funny kikuyu jokes, funny kikuyu sayings, KIKUYU and MONEY, kikuyu dirty jokes, kikuyu love quotes, Only a Kenyan Kikuyu, sick jokes about kikuyus, today kikuyu funny jokes, vichekesho funny, … Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Kikuyu word of the day Uterus. Ng’ombe sikaanza kuania. The Woman and the ogre. HEHEHEHE dont hate us, we like to run tingz..lolest, ahahahahahaha..aki mnatuonea..hata devo anauziwa nare na kikuyus?…lol, my ribs are aching,someone should read this to the guy in state house coz am sure this will make him laugh even tho he doesnt do it often, Mata kiendetie gold na gukomborithia nyumba ciao.